Hydrants brew

Pace is not a factor for the race I'm in.

Place is not a matter in the face that I have worn thin.

I have felt unhealthy in my own healthiness,

But I am wealthy in my unwealthiness,

I lost myself somewhere early in 2010,

And I have become exactly what I always should've been.

There is no separation where I end, and this new band begins.

Every idea, utterance, melody, and ability is stirred into a fine Hydrants brew,

We are now a family where no one is blood-related,

But nobody has to feel degrated,

This is spiritual sex at it's best,

because at this point fuck the usual routine, I hate it,

And every member has been socially degenerated.

And with all the time I put in,

As it gets earlier every time we begin,

This is a drug that I've found to be most delicious,

And we're so damn cultured I don't know how else to say it,

But it's a beautiful thing I hope they'll let us play it.

I lost myself somewhere in early 2010,

And since I came here I've been exactly where I should've been.

bland

Everything is running together

And the good parts melt into bad parts

The days run into nights into mornings and

I can't keep track of which is which anymore.

And although this is what you all call a "regular life"

Or a "sane life"

This is not the life I used to live.

And this is not the life I want,

And this does not feel sane to me.

There are so many paths I could take,

But...

But I am stuck,

I can't find these other paths,

It doesn't make sense to all of you,

But I cant go the way you all go about these things.

And I fear I can't find you all,

On the path I should be on.

There are so many possibilities,

But there is no other ending.

you should never sleep

Hi, My name is Matt, and I'm an alcoholic.

As long as we're all getting acquainted here allow me to pour myself a drink, I feel I'm more sociable when I've been drinking.

a bitter sense of something

Why should I stop drinkin if it makes me feel so good?

You're always telling me what I "should not", but never what I "should."

Let me tell you something that I think you should know,

The closer you get, the further back I want to go.

Keep your distance if you want to keep me comin'

There's something that I see in your soul, that sends me runnin.'

So tell me

Whats fair, whats right, whats wrong

Just go.

From the look on your face, it seems like you think you know.

All you people make me sick, with what you have become.

The double-crossing and the lies, all the whores and the scum.

I will sit here with violent eyes, searing into your present and past.

You got no future, your fairy tale will never last.

Prince charming has a bloodshot lazy eye,

And his gal's got a tattoo that says "serenity" on her thigh.

Couldn't plan it better if we tried,

While I'm left here alone to die.

its not like you killed someone

He was so peaceful and silent, sitting there at the computer as I crept up behind him. He thought he was alone. He had no idea I was there. But more than that, he felt alone. I could tell, I know the feeling all too well. It was too perfect. Too easy.

I felt the urge to cry. I didn't have any actual tears. But that feeling in your stomach where for a split second you just want to break down and let everything that you've been keeping so far away from your thoughts consume your entire being. But I composed myself.

He was looking at pictures. Pictures of people. Happy people. I knew what he was thinking. I knew. He was wishing he could have that. Happiness, and friends. Just someone, anyone, to connect with and share joy with. Share life with. I could be his friend. In another time, another life. If he turned around, I bet he wouldn't even question how I got into the house. He'd just welcome the company.

And I would be his friend. I wish I could.

But I have to do, what I have to do, to keep living like this. And I hate myself, but at this point, there's nothing I can do.

So I walked closer, slowly, silently. Took my pistol and placed the barrel to the back of his head. Before he could even react I pulled the trigger.