Self Evaluation

I am not made to be taken seriously. I am not made to be profound or all-knowing.

I fall asleep while I’m driving, several times a week. I drink beer all the fucking time. I listen to ten minute voicemails of a phone that accidently called me from somebody’s bag all the way through. I enjoy making prank phone calls even when no one else finds it funny. I say “nigga” to both my mom and my girlfriend, neither of which are black. I say “nigga” to my black friend Kevin, who IS black. I refer to Kevin as ‘my black friend Kevin.’ I wear sunglasses inside. I say rude things to people. Me and my friend are still kinda banking on being famous. I do not fulfill my potential in anything I do. I say ridiculous things like referring to myself as “King of the Ting.” I try to make people around me feel uncomfortable. I like to speak of nonsensical situations and things, and I hate people who don’t go along with it. I bring up Ladyboys at inappropriate times. I ignore people. I set fires at work. I leave all work to be done to the very last minute. I do not take initiative. I take nothing seriously. I’m a moment away from a nervous breakdown at any given time, which is why I take nothing seriously. And I’m about to get drunk and watch Real Ghetto Fights Caught On Tape 3, the bootleg.

I’m alright with that, fuck it man I don’t care just leave me alone. Its cool.